Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
where does the pee come out of this thing
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize