If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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