Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
