Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize