just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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