How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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