haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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