After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
