So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
