I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
