I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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