At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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