she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
