i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
