My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
