so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
The struggles of a small town man whore
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Randomize