My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
