Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
