Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
