I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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