Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
