11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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