did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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