Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
