Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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