Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
