Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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