There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
