try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
