We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize