we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
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