she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
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