if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
