now i know why i became what i already was.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
