I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Panties = found
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