Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Randomize
