her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
