My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
