Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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