I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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