Quick, to the slutcave!
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
