but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
