I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize