She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
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