I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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