I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
