I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
she told me i tasted like america
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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