so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
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