We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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