If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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