lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
