dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
