Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize