what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
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It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
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It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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