talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
