i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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