I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
