Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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