how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
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I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
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So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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